Side Project

Altered my Dream Journal

I started on my dream journal yesterday. Didn’t come out the way I wanted it to. Hopefully, when I get a bigger journal, I can make something a little better. This is what I have to work with now.

Because my dream journal’s small, I decided to make a design of my own and not glue on decorations. I started with just the black journal, etched out a pentagram with a metallic marker and then went over that with the glue gun. I let that dry. Then, I went for the black paint and went over the entire journal. Let that dry. With a metallic silver paint I went over the glue-pentagram. Because I wanted more color than just black and silver, I thought painting the inside of the pentagram burgundy was a great idea. I’m beginning to regret it. I’ll probably go over it with black paint, and just stick to a burgundy outline of the pentagram.

Jyg’s working on her doll and in a few, I’ll be going outside with some bottles to spray paint. I’ll have to figure out how to design them later.


“Does it feel that you life’s become a catastrophe?”

Plans are in motion. Jyg and I plan to watch The Crazies with Esmer and Jerry on my birthday, possibly hang out at the park after getting a pizza. The first year I decide to celebrate my birthday with others, so I’m keeping it plain and simple.

I have to accept the way things have gone, and this is my attempt. I once belonged to a world that made sense, but the senselessness of certain events have tainted my outlook. I’m tired of grasping at strings and watching everything go to shit. That world that I’m looking at, isn’t mine anymore. I don’t fit in to any of their equations.

Today, we talked about the nothingness. How everything started from nothing. Izzy can’t imagine nothing. Jyg accepts we become nothing. And me, I’m beginning to question my doubt about a higher plane than the physical world. Not divinity, yet, but something higher than this. Both Izzy and I cannot accept that we just end.

After a while, I asked Izzy my Twitter question that derived from – not surprising if you know me – Superman. What are the chances that there is another planet with the same evolutionary history as ours? I’m talking about homo sapiens and the other creatures around us, not our religions, our histories, our civilizations. Jyg doesn’t think there was a chance – I asked her when she came back – and she doesn’t believe that there is another planet with like ours, maybe similar, but not exactly. Izzy thinks there’s a tiny chance. I told them where the question originated. They laughed; Jyg admitted that she didn’t know Superman was an alien.

I like the current group I’ve found myself in. They’re not like the old group and they never will be, but the comfort level is there. And there’s promise there’ll never be a clash. Think I’m going to love this year.