Started taking notes about my imaginary world as suggested by Alan Moore. I’m not sure if these notes will lead to anything, or if they’ll lead to a series of stories, a larger project or a semi-autobiographical graphic novel. If it’s the latter, I’m not sure who’ll help me with the art as I suck at drawing. I’m the sort of asshole who can’t even draw a straight line and that’s with a ruler.
JD showed interest once, as did Donovan. Both of them bring two different style of art with them. Because it isn’t an adventure story but a real life story, I’m debating which of the two would feel more comfortable within its realms. Of course, that depends on whether I’ll turn them into a script for visual purposes.
Reliving certain parts of my life is feeding the depression that I already feel crawling through me like a cancer. It burns behind my eyes, squeezes my heart. But like Henry Miller said, the best way to get over someone is turn them into literature.
See this not as a funeral for a loved one. See this as a funeral for myself.
Finished rereading Shortcomings by Adrian Tomine today. While not exactly the best graphic novel I’ve read, this second run through was more enjoyable than the last. I’ve been in the mood of reading graphic novels, I suppose in the sense to make up for my lack of commitment to the 100+ book challenge. So I decided to head over to public library and pick a few up.
I picked up:
- Age of Desire
- Fall of Cthulhu: The Gathering
- Batman: Year One
- Batman: RIP
- Superman: Red Son
Also checked out Blade Runner: The Final Cut and Lady Chatterley. I looked around to see if they had Like Water for Chocolate, but they only had it on VHS. Called Hollywood Video, which is going out of business, to see if they got their copy back so I could buy it. The guy said they had it already so I went to pick it up and the lady said it was still checked out. It took all I had not to jump over the counter and slug him. I didn’t even cuss him out. Just smiled and left.
My mood’s been unstable lately. This has to do a lot with my depression which is blame for a lot of what I’ve done these last few days. I felt like escaping all day today. I’ve felt like escaping for months now. And despite my positive demeanor about this year, I can’t save face from those around me.
It pissed me off when the guy realized his mistake. While that normally does upset me, it’s not like me to want to punch someone the face. I’m a ticking time bomb. I’m afraid what will happen when I can’t control myself.
I’ve rethought birthday week. I have to. I think I’d be more comfortable if Jyg could attend with me. But who knows. It’s all speculative. Something is nagging at me, telling me no one will truly miss me.
That isn’t the best way to say it, but that the best I can do.