Several years ago, a buddy had this idea that we should make pornography. In hindsight, the idea was doomed to fail. First of all, neither of  us had a camcorder or camera, for that matter. We also lacked the basic editing software (I didn’t even have a computer at the time). There were so many things wrong with the idea, but we were young and stupid and willing to believe that the impossible would happen. He started choosing his porn director’s name before we even had anything ready. That’s like already planning the title of your album when you buddies agreed to join your band. Four-finger John – the buddy – was an old high school buddy. I’d gained so much weight by…