October 20, 2010 – Chapin City Blues

Most people in San Juan already know what to say when they see one of us. “Sorry, I have Magic Valley.” I didn’t even approach some of these people. One woman walked up to me, smiling and then blatantly told me, “Oh I have Magic Valley. I can’t switch.” Bitch, I didn’t even ask you. By the end of my shift, people would look over to the table and when I’d look up at them they’d just shake their heads. I didn’t even ask you either.

Truth is, I work better with a partner. I can bring people in, inform them and what not, but I’m no good at getting them to sign their lives away – I mean, switching their light company. [Redacted] has worked the stores for three years now. People who want to change have tried. Those who don’t still don’t. Those who can’t, well, they still can’t. We need new blood. And the only reason the “go getters” are still getting sign ups is because they’re selected for better places and have lack of work ethics. They’re liars and cheaters. I’ve only been with [redacted] for a week and I know this already.

I had a strange dream last night, come to think of it. [Redacted] always leaves me tired, for some odd reason. So I slept in this morning. I was in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with Izzy and a few other people who I know aren’t alcoholics. Izzy, of course, is only thirteen. After the AA meeting, we headed off to a bookstore located next to my house. I saw Doug – the general manager for the Edinburg Roadrunners – there along with several co-workers. The bookstore was more of a club than a bookstore, despite all the shelves of books. Strobe lights and fog machines, possibly music. There was a kid section where several parents left their children slumbering.

The other day, a co-worker at [redacted] – not fully thinking – walked up to a couple of girls and said, in that loud salesman voice of his, “Excuse me.” When they look up, brace-smiles and all, he went pink (as pink as he could get) as these girls couldn’t be more than fourteen. Thinking quick, he added, “Would you all like some candy?” Oh yeah, that wasn’t creepy at all.

Bookstore Bingo: 9 Totally Ridiculous Things Heard At Bookstores (PHOTOS) (huffingtonpost.com)
A Bookstore Flourishes: Two California Lawyers Become Successful Wisconsin Booksellers (huffingtonpost.com)
Steve Jobs’s Obituary, As Run By Bloomberg [Greatly Exaggerated Reports] (gawker.com)
First-Ever Publication of Original Working Manuscript of Alcoholics Anonymous ‘Big Book’ To Be Released By Hazelden October 1 (prweb.com)

Meester Binx hinted that I might be afraid of seeing Miranda the other day. He suggested we should solicit her neighborhood – we were doing a door-to-door mission for [redacted] – and I shrugged, hinting that maybe we should focus on my neighborhood (big mistake, by the way). It’s not so much that I’m afraid of seeing Miranda, it’s that my mind is too occupied with other things that I really don’t want her – our – (former) friendship to take center stage, as it so often does. Besides, I have more on my mind lately.

I’ve been dwelling on the past a lot lately. But it’s okay, according to Scientific American Mind, it’s good for me to do so. And while it’s not to my liking, I’m focusing a lot of that what ifs. I started writing something I’m calling “Life Alternate” in which I view different scenarios of my past and where I’d be had I just taken the leap. From relationships that ended badly to those that never blossomed to undo decisions to taking those missed opportunities. I suppose it’s closure. Or maybe it’s masochism that drives me. Either way, I’m hoping that the project gets me writing again.

I also started penning a short story the other day. I don’t want to get into details, but it’s making me happy that I’m writing something again. Something that’s actually challenging me to write. Something I plan on editing and hoping to send off to some magazine. Hopefully. As for “Life Alternate,” I don’t know if it’ll become anything important to me. I don’t know a lot of things, really. I’m too tired to continue to write. I’ll talk about [redacted] some more tomorrow. I have nothing to really add to my current situation with the green company. However, the banal existence that has become my life in my days of working for [redacted] has sparked some inspiration. I like writing about banal situations. Banal, I love that word. And not because it’s anal with a b in front of it. That’s just silly.