I wanted to fill this post with emotions. Instead, I’m just staring at the screen. I promised myself this blog’s tone would change during phase 2 because I placed the melancholy behind me.

I’m spending more money that I’m making. Blowing check after check (except what I put aside for Shaun) on books that will take me a few years to get to. I’m running out of space for these purchases. I’m a hoarder of literature.

And I’m digging my grave. I’m spending emotions I cannot afford. Is it possible to like two people, have one of them like you in return, all the while in love with someone else?

I’m not even sure who I am at the moment. If I’m the man or the monster. Am I showing signs of a broken heart? A man on the path suicidal? Let the flame burn me from the inside. Let it consume me until it ignites me, erupting forth from my cavity.

I am the void.