As a boy, I used lie in the dark with my eyes shut tightly. And I opened them to watch the color sparks dance before me. I did this until I lost consciousness and drifted into that place in between. I think a lot about the past because I’m too afraid of what the future might hold for me. Or maybe I treat life and its various relationships like an extravagant science experiment, and I only look at the past in order to collect the essential facts to draw my conclusions.  One moment I’m a boy squeezing his eyes shut for the slight burst of color entertainment that transpired upon opening them and the next I’m a thirty year old writing his thoughts on…