Doldrums

“…Dumbledore…”

I don’t care for Harry Potter. I tried, but I don’t like it. Have I lost brownie points? That video above, however, is hilarious. And that’s all I will say about Harry Potter. Moving on.

Don’t think I haven’t noticed the direction my blog has taken. So I decided today will not focus on anything sad. Instead, let’s just talk. A one-on-on conversation with my readers (the few that there are). What would you like to know?

The other day, I was fishing through my spam box to see if anything comical appeared. Instead, a blog post from Her Threaded Needle appeared. Nothing spammy about other than, I can only guess, the person who posted it wasn’t do it to pass the word around. I didn’t accept it, but I have linked here. So far, it looks like a cute blog.

Watching Tim Minchin on Californication this season, makes me wish I had a “couple of g’s, an r and an e an i and an n” in my life. Can you imagine if I had my own personal Tim Minchin? I’d be toting around with a buttons and stickers boasting “My Personal Tim Minchin can kick you Personal Jesus’ Ass.” Of course, some asshole will probably think I’m being insecure and start some shit. And my personal Tim Minchin will bitch slap him with word play.

Exhibit A: The reason I wear hats
Exhibit A: The reason I wear hats

The other day, I went shopping for hair products because I have a bit of a hair issue. However, when I went to Walmart – remember when it was spelled Wal-Mart? – and all they had for men were Axe products. So I sent Angela a text message:

Me: How come men’s hair care stuff only comes in douche bag?Angela: Lol. Meaning?
Me: Axe products.
Angela: Haha. They should just rename the brand.
Me: Douché?
Angela: Yeah. Sounds French. People would buy it.
Me: We’ll even put a Chinese character that stands for chicken on the label. Quick. Get Ruben to draw a mock up and send it to me.

Exhibit B: Told you I'd mention this
Exhibit B: Told you I’d mention this

Like a true champ, Ruben drew me the mock up. He went as far as Googling the Chinese character for chicken.

So I know that most of you are wondering why the Chinese character for chicken. Well, you know those douche bag friends you have with tattoos? You know one of them is a Chinese character, and you know they think it means something like spiritual or courage or YOLO. What they don’t know is that you now know that they don’t know that it really stands for chicken. Because I can tell you now, that character doesn’t mean anything greater than chicken or soup or asshole.

I’d like to end this post of nothing by thanking Grace for being a kick ass friend and showing me this article. She has reacquainted me with Evernote and I’m using the app as my notebook.

Writing & Writers

What if I told you my life is a mess

 

“She’s just two personas struggling for dominance in one body.”*

I couldn’t quote from the Bible if I wanted to. It’s just not that important to me. Life without religion is the same with it. Pointless with the exception for the purpose you make for yourself. And without what I tried to build, what purpose have I left?

She knew the quotes by heart, but never followed a single syllable of them. Born in Macabre, she dressed for Death’s gathering. Eyes like glitter and a heart of ice, the born again will rejoice in her spoken tones while decipher her body language with their erections.

*Quote from The Girl in the Steel Corset by Kady Cross