“Relax into the need, we get so comfortable “

Finished rereading Shortcomings by Adrian Tomine today. While not exactly the best graphic novel I’ve read, this second run through was more enjoyable than the last. I’ve been in the mood of reading graphic novels, I suppose in the sense to make up for my lack of commitment to the 100+ book challenge. So I decided to head over to public library and pick a few up.

I picked up:

  1. Age of Desire
  2. Fall of Cthulhu: The Gathering
  3. Batman: Year One
  4. Batman: RIP
  5. Superman: Red Son

Also checked out Blade Runner: The Final Cut and Lady Chatterley. I looked around to see if they had Like Water for Chocolate, but they only had it on VHS. Called Hollywood Video, which is going out of business, to see if they got their copy back so I could buy it. The guy said they had it already so I went to pick it up and the lady said it was still checked out. It took all I had not to jump over the counter and slug him. I didn’t even cuss him out. Just smiled and left.

My mood’s been unstable lately. This has to do a lot with my depression which is blame for a lot of what I’ve done these last few days. I felt like escaping all day today. I’ve felt like escaping for months now. And despite my positive demeanor about this year, I can’t save face from those around me.

It pissed me off when the guy realized his mistake. While that normally does upset me, it’s not like me to want to punch someone the face. I’m a ticking time bomb. I’m afraid what will happen when I can’t control myself.

I’ve rethought birthday week. I have to. I think I’d be more comfortable if Jyg could attend with me. But who knows. It’s all speculative. Something is nagging at me, telling me no one will truly miss me.

That isn’t the best way to say it, but that the best I can do.

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