“Though it comes as no surprise”

Meester Binx hinted that I might be afraid of seeing Miranda the other day. He suggested we should solicit her neighborhood – we were doing a door-to-door mission for [redacted] – and I shrugged, hinting that maybe we should focus on my neighborhood (big mistake, by the way). It’s not so much that I’m afraid of seeing Miranda, it’s that my mind is too occupied with other things that I really don’t want her – our – (former) friendship to take center stage, as it so often does. Besides, I have more on my mind lately.

I’ve been dwelling on the past a lot lately. But it’s okay, according to Scientific American Mind, it’s good for me to do so. And while it’s not to my liking, I’m focusing a lot of that what ifs. I started writing something I’m calling “Life Alternate” in which I view different scenarios of my past and where I’d be had I just taken the leap. From relationships that ended badly to those that never blossomed to undo decisions to taking those missed opportunities. I suppose it’s closure. Or maybe it’s masochism that drives me. Either way, I’m hoping that the project gets me writing again.

I also started penning a short story the other day. I don’t want to get into details, but it’s making me happy that I’m writing something again. Something that’s actually challenging me to write. Something I plan on editing and hoping to send off to some magazine. Hopefully. As for “Life Alternate,” I don’t know if it’ll become anything important to me. I don’t know a lot of things, really. I’m too tired to continue to write. I’ll talk about [redacted] some more tomorrow. I have nothing to really add to my current situation with the green company. However, the banal existence that has become my life in my days of working for [redacted] has sparked some inspiration. I like writing about banal situations. Banal, I love that word. And not because it’s anal with a b in front of it. That’s just silly.