Lady Gaga and Lady Starlight performing at Lol...

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I like pop music as much as the next person. Let me rephrase that, I like pop music as white noise when I’m doing my job. Or when I’m writing, which I also like to consider part of my job. It gets me rolling and keeps me concentrated because I don’t like like pop music, I prefer listening to something like KMFDM or Skold or Marilyn Manson or Nine Inch Nails or…well, you get my point. So when you see Lady Gaga or Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera or Katy Perry on my playlist, you know it’s because I’m about to go to work. I can already hear it, “Sure, Willie. Sure.” But it’s true. I work/write more efficiently listening to pop music because I cannot sing along. And if I’m distracted, I get the job done in a timely manner than, say, having me zone out when “Error 404” by Skold vs. KMFDM starts up – trust me, this happens all the time.

Like everyone, I was intrigued with Lady Gaga when she first appeared. For a split second, I thought I was looking at Marilyn Manson’s latest gimmick. Then I was convinced she was Line Trap a.k.a. Harley Quinn a.k.a. Bailey Jay. I listened to “Poker Face” picking at the lyrics – all in good humor – for subliminal messages admitting she was once a man. I loved Manson’s remix of “LoveGame.” But there was something off with her. Something I couldn’t put my finger on. But as quickly as she appeared on stage, her fame quickly diminished. Only it didn’t. In fact, it grew. And grew. And grew.

Last summer, “Alejandro” was constantly sung by a baseball player every day in the locker room – only he sung it as Alejandra. Lissie’s cover of “Bad Romance” sparked my interested in the talented singer. It was suddenly clear to me that Lady Gaga wasn’t going to go anywhere; she was the Sarah Palin of pop music. Just when you think she’s gone – BAM! – right in the fucking eye!

In this month’s issue of Esquire, Stephen Marche asks the fifty-nine questions about Lady Gaga that I was beginning to wonder, including, but not limited to, “Why is she so famous?” and “What if she never goes away?” What really boiled my blood about Miss “Born This Way” was her use of retarded (which she later apologized for). Apparently, in that moment of bad judgment, Lady Gaga forgot that men tattooed to resembled zombies aren’t born that way, but most mentally handicapped people are.

And it seems that Lady Gaga knows how quickly she can be forgotten, which is why the first single of the upcoming album seemed quickly put together and, as Stephen Marche, sounds “just like a Madonna’s “Express yourself,” only emptier.” Who knows, perhaps the entire new album is just cut and paste lyrics thrown together to keep her fan base happy. Isn’t that what it’s really about? Pleasing and fooling everyone into thinking you’re deep and different, while just retooling things that have been done before by people with real talent?

But the blind will continue to hold her up as the role model savior, while bashing Katy Perry. What they don’t seem to grasp is that Lady Gaga is no savior. She isn’t even the gay messiah. She’s nothing but a product on display, rolling in the money until the next thing tumbles out of the manufacturing line. She’s got every one fooled and for that, they will continually throw money her way. If anything, Lady Gaga is doing more damage to the cause than supporting it.

So I urge fans to pay closer attention to Lady Gaga. Soon enough, you’ll see the layer of deceit fall away. It’s okay. I’ll grab you some tissues.

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