Has it been three years already? It seemed like yesterday that Jeanna was pregnant. Only, yesterday we held Shaun’s third birthday party. Like every year after Shaun’s birth, the weather wasn’t seasonable. I’m just relieved the rain bode its time. It began to pour after we served the cake and the kids broke the piñata.
Shaun spent the day relishing in his ability to play in the rain. We placed all chastising on hold yesterday. Though, he did take a certain song to heart when I nabbed him from the ground on which he lay. The wind prevented the candle from being lit. We sang “Happy Birthday,” though Shaun did note the missing flame. He looked at us, one eyebrow raised. “You guys,” his eyes seem to say, “you do know the candle isn’t lit, right?”
Because of the weather and drop in temperature, many of the invited were a no-show. I’m guessing that, any way. We didn’t open any of the gifts. Jeanna saves that for the house. Mike told me that he upgraded Shaun’s arsenal. A bigger water gun, perhaps. I haven’t asked Jeanna about it.
Though it wasn’t phenomenal, I leapt a great feat yesterday. For the first time since the two paired up, I spoke to Jeanna’s new boyfriend. An inevitability I longed to avoid without reason. It wasn’t friendly banter. It wasn’t filled with disdain, either. I spoke to him like I would a guy at a supermarket complaining about the service. Not sure how uncomfortable it was for him to have the ex-boyfriend around. Not sure how uncomfortable I should have felt. There are no rule books written about this.
While he attended the party, his part seemed minimal. I stole glances at others, gauging whether I should seem unease. A few smiles came from the audience. Though I couldn’t register any of these as pity or worry. Party of me wished Jenny or someone were there with me. Another part couldn’t enjoy the fact I’m alone more.
I’m adjusted to the single life. The bouts of loneliness come and go like any other emotion. I stopped filling my life with meaningless crap by cutting down my subscriptions. My full-time position in technical services has gifted me more time with Shaun. Life is good, despite all the depression.
And as the rain began to fall, we cleaned up the picnic tables. Shaun pointed me to the boyfriend in his way of introducing us. Jeanna and I agreed that next year, we’re hosting the party indoors. To next year. To Shaun, the greatest three-year-old in the world.
Chapin City Blues 