Chapin City Blues

Writing is writing whether done for duty, profit, or fun.

I’m no longer certain they’re panic attacks. By the descriptions I’ve read, they’re aren’t heart attacks, either. There’s a laundry list of things they could be, but which of them is what I have, I cannot be certain. The thing is, do I go to the doctors and spend money I don’t have and find out they’re nothing to worry about, or spend my time in oblivion while my body attacks me.

There’s a heaviness in my chest that comes and passes, lingers and then leaves. The muscles in my left arm tense up. My stomach boils. I’m amazed that I survived today’s book hunt.

I suppose we’ll find out what it is come Monday. I hate waiting so long, but without insurance, there’s no way I’m going to the hospital only to be told I have an anxiety problem. They’ll prescribe me pills that I won’t take. However, if I get an attack tomorrow and it’s horribly bad, then I’m pretty much screwed into dishing out even more money I don’t have.

Times like this, I wish I were rich.

One thought on “Gonna have to see a doctor

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