Plans are in motion. Jyg and I plan to watch The Crazies with Esmer and Jerry on my birthday, possibly hang out at the park after getting a pizza. The first year I decide to celebrate my birthday with others, so I’m keeping it plain and simple.
I have to accept the way things have gone, and this is my attempt. I once belonged to a world that made sense, but the senselessness of certain events have tainted my outlook. I’m tired of grasping at strings and watching everything go to shit. That world that I’m looking at, isn’t mine anymore. I don’t fit in to any of their equations.
Today, we talked about the nothingness. How everything started from nothing. Izzy can’t imagine nothing. Jyg accepts we become nothing. And me, I’m beginning to question my doubt about a higher plane than the physical world. Not divinity, yet, but something higher than this. Both Izzy and I cannot accept that we just end.
After a while, I asked Izzy my Twitter question that derived from – not surprising if you know me – Superman. What are the chances that there is another planet with the same evolutionary history as ours? I’m talking about homo sapiens and the other creatures around us, not our religions, our histories, our civilizations. Jyg doesn’t think there was a chance – I asked her when she came back – and she doesn’t believe that there is another planet with like ours, maybe similar, but not exactly. Izzy thinks there’s a tiny chance. I told them where the question originated. They laughed; Jyg admitted that she didn’t know Superman was an alien.
I like the current group I’ve found myself in. They’re not like the old group and they never will be, but the comfort level is there. And there’s promise there’ll never be a clash. Think I’m going to love this year.
2 thoughts on ““Does it feel that you life’s become a catastrophe?””
This is something I think we’ve all come to accept. Events cannot be undone, nor whispers unheard, nor words unread. The day I stopped asking about Friday night was the day I accepted that things were not the same and never would be, and it was okay because that’s the natural progression of things. We are nothing if we refuse to grow. The world you’re looking at has changed. You can’t look at it through the same eyes.
I do believe in the possibility of extraterrestrial life. The universe is largely unexplored, our definition of life limited to what we know about our one little planet.
And we don’t just end. Yes, our bodies cease to exist, but we leave behind so much that to call it an end is an injustice. I mean, just think about any historical figure. We learn so much more about them even centuries after they’re dead than we ever would have cared to know while they were alive. And in a strictly scientific sense, when we die, our energy and matter is returned to the universe. Whether it becomes something bigger and better or small and insignificant is a whole other thing to ponder, futile as it may be 😛
Crap, forgot how to hit reply:
I didn’t mean I doubted extraterrestrial life, but because the storyline of Superman – which sparked the question – Kal-El was back on Krypton because it was never destroyed. I never questioned Superman because…well, he’s a comic book. But after the story progressed there’s really no telling the difference between the imaginary world of Krypton and a futuristic Earth. And because I was outside while reading this, I started to wonder the chances of an exact evolutionary chain as ours. You know, single cell organism to a fish to a salamander to a lizard to dinosaur etc.
And there was a time when I accepted it without a doubt, without a blink of an eye. But something happened last year that I can’t get over it. No matter how I try to reason withe myself, I can’t fathom a world without my mind. I even mused this is how religion started – See “The Invention of Lying” as it deals with this subject – and the whole concept of a soul.
This, by the way, is why I stopped going outside as much. My brain is allowed to think things that I would rather not allow in. From the whole death thing to the possibility of Krypton-like world both happened while outdoors.