Books · Doldrums

Technology Killed the Bathroom Proposition

Unbeknownst to this man, Craigslist no longer allows the manufacture of personal boysenberry jam

I might be the only one here who feels this way, but I miss the good ol’ days when you read “Tiffany sucks real good,” or the every simple “For a good blow job, call Ray 555-0269″ on restroom stalls and/or walls. Scribbled in lipstick or a Sharpie.

The first of these Internet scribblings happened around the same time I saw (not really) someone eating hot cakes while taking a dump. I was attending college at the University of Texas, Pan American when I saw the fellatio offer with the contact web address – it was a Myspace page. Soon, I found addresses to Facebook pages, Livejournals and, finally, Craigslist listings.

Because I’m a sucker (no pun intended) for the old school way of doing things, I was tempted to write a proposition of my own – “For some awesome head, call [Meester Binx’s Number redacted],” just to see how many people would call – and if Meester Binx would tell me that it was happening. Of course, I didn’t do it because I knew he wouldn’t be too happy with me if I had. Mostly because I’m usually the prime suspect when it comes to shit like this.

Despite its title, this book is not an actual instructional manual

Yesterday, Monica and I went book hunting. I already set my mind on not spending too much. This quickly failed when I purchased Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime: A Book of Zombie Love Songs at Barnes and Noble (North 10th). From Books ‘n’ Things, I purchased the Elmore Leonard novel, Pronto. From The Book Stop, I grabbed FLCL vol. 1, Grace Slick‘s Somebody to Love? and James Patterson‘s Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas – which was purchased for my mother. We had lunch at China Cafe, which was surprisingly good. We ended our day at Barnes and Noble (Ware). There aren’t enough book stores in the area, I tell you what. Of course, there was Georgia’s Thrift Store – which appeared to be under new management and was closed until the third, despite what the contradicting sign in the window suggested. I wonder if Mike’s book store will still be found within the walls of the store. I certainly hope so. Otherwise, that’s another store that will vanish. 

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