Someone, sometime ago, decided children speaking in baby talk is cute. I beg to differ. If a child is too old to speak with a mock speech impediment, then it’s not cool. Besides, what does that say about a person with the actual, no-fooling impediment? Homophobic dating service, eHarmony is now running an ad featuring “Caroline,” Neil Clark Warren‘s, the founder, supposed granddaughter. The girl’s obviously too old to be speaking like a toddler, but the advertising team thought it was worth a swing. Usually, I’m not disgusted with ads with children talking about adult world things–eTrade’s baby, voiced by comedian Pete Holmes, is downright adorable and hilarious. And dubbing Dennis Haysbert’s voice over a little girls for an Allstate commercial? Gold. At least they didn’t have her talking like a goddamn moron. What’s a little more unnerving about the eHarmony commercial is that the little girl knows way too much information on her teacher’s romantic life.

Exhibit A

Exhibit A

Moving on. While we’re on the subject of idiot’s, I’d like to make a statement that posting these “inspiration” hipster photos with quotes floating in the air, doesn’t make you deep. Whenever I post something like this, it’s usually something funny. Or something that strikes me as truth, or wise, or interesting. It’s never a shield. Never an “adult” way of saying, “I’m rubber and you’re glue so what you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.”

Monica posted something in the lines of this thought, so I won’t rehash that post (nor steal it). It’s just that people who post this sort of thing have the worse personalities. Rather than owning up that they’re just dicks or bitches, they become the Vancome Lady. And not only that, they also hide behind their religion to justify their dickheadedness, posting messages and status updates with declarations such as, but not limited to, “It doesn’t what you think of me. The only opinion that matters is God’s.” Yeah. God called me and he wanted me to relay a message: You’re a bitch with religion, doesn’t make you better than anyone.

And if you post anything stating something negative about your ex, I can assure you that you think of him more than he thinks of you. And that’s just sad.

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