I don’t pretend to know what the hell I’m doing. I just roll with it. And if the dice comes up to my advantage, so be it. If it doesn’t—I’ll find myself running, leaping, and softly grazing a Dragonborn’s derrière. The swarm of wasps surround us, and my failed leap onto his back causes him to misfire his fire breath. I luck out because, despite of my shame of groping a fellow adventurer, my fall grants me some safety. The wasps ignore me. They go after him.

Our DM loves for bugs. Maybe disturbingly so. Since our first adventure began, we’ve combated ants, bedbugs, and now these wasps. And those are just the ones I remember. Had my character not landed flat on his face, he might have swung his tiny sword instead in hopes of at least halving a few of those buggers. But in this game of chance, there wasn’t much to choose from. Fight and get stung, or jump on a Dragonborn’s back and hope for the best.

Neither, as it turned out, was in the cards for me.

We survived this outing. Someone us managed without a scratch—or rather, a sting. At some point we might have fought a dragon. Chances are, though, it was a legion of giant armadillidiidae.

While our adventure didn’t end, Duckie decided to reboot the fragment of the multiverse he created. Marvel and DC were doing it, so why couldn’t he? My dragonborn-ass-groper hobbit halfing faded into the æther.

These days, I’ve taken on the roll of a wood gnome by the name of Frug. He’s a bard storyteller who’s adopted brother, a half-elf, searches the world for him. Of course, it’s not for a friendly family reunion. He blames Frug for the death of their sister. There might be some resentment due to sibling favoritism, as well.

Frug finds himself mixed with a band of randoms who are charged with conspiracy to assassinate royalty. They began their adventure together Saturday. Sadly, I wasn’t able to partake in person but the internet grants us so much. I noticed that playing online, while it has its perks of being involved, feels empty. It’s not the same as sitting in the midst of it all, laughing with friends, and being able to act out the parts along with the best of them.

But who knows when our adventure continues. Maybe next time, I’ll stop being so damn lazy and actually clean up.

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