Doldrums

Just Another Update

“Laughing” by The Guess Who keeps playing in my head. Before the Joker reveal last week, I only ever heard the song once or twice. Now it’s a goddamn earworm because it works so well with the Joker story. Especially if this origin flick is loosely tied to the Alan Moore graphic novel, The Killing Joke. Here, listen to it:

Shaun spent the night at Jeanna’s last night. This marked the first night in almost two months that he wasn’t with me. These last two months have been strange, foreign, surreal. I’ll get around to talking about it at some point.

I knew there’d come a time when Shaun wouldn’t be living with me full time. Thought I’d be more prepared for this, but habits begin to grow. He’s ruled my home life for several weeks now that going to bed late last night felt unnatural for me. And rather filling my time doing things I normally can’t do when he’s here, I spent most of my time wondering what time he’ll be getting home. It’s strange to say the least.

Last night, Virginia and I had our movie night. We watched Tag and afterward had our usual movie discussion (you can see why I like her, right? Because she’s nerdy enough to hold movie discussions with me rather than just treat a movie as a movie. I mean, how could you not like this girl?). And during those brief pauses of our conversation, all I kept asking myself was, “Is this it? Is this the moment?”

Nothing happened, because I’m the fool in the movie of my life. The sort of character audience yell “Just kiss her already!” at the screen, but nothing comes of it. There’s too much hesitation on my part. I don’t know what’s holding me back. Fear? Ugh. It’s annoying as piss.

Also, my cough isn’t the most attractive quality about me right now. While it’s not due to sickness or anything she can catch, it still screams, “Don’t kiss this dude!”

Who the fuck knows anymore.

Anyway, I’m working on new things. New poetry—well, lyric essays, will begin appearing shortly. I put on “The Letters of Resignation” project on hold due to circumstances (the world shifted, fell over on its side, and left me clinging on to whatever stability that I can), so you’ll get to read the first letter maybe by Spring 2019. There’s also the possibility of working on a radio drama that I’ll post somewhere (I’m still learning about these things especially perfecting my editing, plus distribution, etc.). It might be an adaptation of a skeleton story I have (really bare bones rough draft) or be a wholly new story (who knows, I don’t!). There’s also that, by the way. I’m working on an anthology speculative fiction tale. It’s a trilogy spread across three short stories, novelettes, or novellas. I don’t know what the format will be, but I’m thinking of publishing either on here (zero money for me) or try to find a fan base else where (still zero money for me, but hopefully I build a following that could lead to some money — not really holding my breath there, but one could dream). And I’ll start writing book reviews again, starting with a review of Siphon by A.A. Medina (you should definitely check out the Audible audiobook narrated by the great Ted Brooks — I recognized his voice from somewhere, but I can’t pinpoint where, but I love it and  he’s creepy as fuck!). Great things are coming. I promise that I’ll try.

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