Weren’t We Something Though?


A Walk to the Park


In a patriarchal society, my grandmother was the matriarch of the family. The glue that held us together, if you will. Last Saturday, Jyg, Esmer and I had our annual Thanksgiving dinner sans Jerry – who was in San Antonio. It’s not so much a tradition that’s been going on for a while – well, at least not with them – but it’s something I’m hoping to conintue for years to come. Anyway, we got to discussing family rituals of Thanksgiving. Jyg commented on how her family doesn’t have dinners every year and Esmer went on to say that since everyone was grown up, it was hard to get everyone together. I laughed, remembering my grandmother’s hold on her family. Because that’s what we were – her family.

Granted, we might not have subscribed to the same dogma, philosophy or whatever – half the time we probably didn’t even like each other with sibling rivalries or whatever. There wasn’t anything more important than Thanksgiving, nothing that kept you away. And if you questioned it, she’d give you the worse tongue lashing you can imagine. You didn’t go against abuela, didn’t question her. You did what you were expected to do and showed up on time. Otherwise there’d be hell to pay. Things weren’t the same when she passed away. We all drifted in our directions, allowed our rivalries or whatever to get in the way. We became too busy to do things. We were strangers at the table, not a family.

My mother isn’t as headstrong as home was – despite the stubbornness that she inherited – which I inherited, as well. Whether my apathy about the world or my misanthropic view point on the world – my family – rubbed off on her, she doesn’t like to meddle in the affairs of others. Chismes, my grandmother would call it; the family had no place for gossip.

When I decided to revive the Thanksgiving tradition, I didn’t know what to expect. For a while, we had all three brothers gathering at Mom’s house but we dwindled. Jay started working on Thanksgiving, Melissa would shuttle the kids to her mothers. Martin and his family would still come around, until it was decided that we would split the holidays – Martin had Thanksgiving, I had X-mas and Jay had New Year’s. Eventually, Jay got the latter two holidays and I would only be responsible for the main course for X-mas. Due to some misinformation this year, I was back behind the stove preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Once again, chismes befell the family.

It’s not my place to butt in my thoughts on the affairs of others. My grandmother most certainly would, however. She’s give her grandmotherly advice, remind you of the vows you took before (G)od, etc. If it didn’t work out, then it didn’t work out. It was just the way it was, the way it was written. I never had the impression that she liked Javier much so whether she talked to my mother about divorce back in the day is beyond me. If anything, she was the gravity of my mother’s decision. Again, there is no evidence to conclude this.

So despite the turn of events this year, I can only think of one thing. Yesterday was a good day. Jyg, Izzy and I took my nephew Jaycob to the park. In his hand, Jaycob dragged a cat toy tied to a shoelace behind him. It belonged to Dexter, whom Jaycob loved – though, the feeling wasn’t mutual.

“In memory of Dexter,” Jyg said. Izzy made a comment to which Jyg replied, “I think it’s sweet to do something in memory of someone.”

Yeah, so do I.


The Walking Dead


The Dead Shall Inherit The Earth


Nothing on AMC has caught my attention like The Walking Dead. Mad Men? I never gave it a chance. Rubicon? Eh, conspiracy shows aren’t my cup of tea. Breaking Bad? I wanted to get into the show, but I couldn’t divorce Bryan Cranston his Malcolm in the Middle character (I’m still working on that). And it’s not a big surprise that this series, of all the great ones that have premiered on this network, grabbed my attention. Can’t guess why? ZOMBIES, MOTHERFUCKERS!

The premiere wasn’t a let down, but it’s too early on to tell if the show will manage to remain fresh past the first season.

Change of subject: It didn’t feel much like Halloween. Jyg and I didn’t do our Halloween thing. We went to JoDi’s party last night along with Izzy, Esmer and Jerry. We headed out to a rumored haunted cemetery, but it was locked up. We built ourselves up for disappointment. No matter, the party was fun.

I started writing my little side project, hoping it sparks some more creation along the way. I’m not stating that it’ll be something worth reading, but at least it’s fun writing. Don’t ask to read it; it’s going into my vault.


A Sappy I-Love-My-Friends Post

Call me lame, if you will. And many of you reading this who are my nearest and dearest will be doing so in respond tweets or leaving me comments on Facebook. But I don’t care. I love you anyway.

You’re my book hunting pals to partners in crime. You celebrate the best of days and help me pick up the pieces on the worst. You give me the best advice and you’re the demon on my shoulder. You’re my heroes and my equals. And I’m inspired to be sappy because I’ve had the best couple of days and you’re all to blame. Seriously, what the fuck?

Sunday, Jyg, Esmer, Jerry and I decided to go have us an expensive meal over at Red Lobster. My bank account cried. Afterward, we headed to Target to make my bank account cry even more. I bought this really neat netbook that I didn’t need, but seriously wanted. Later, Esmer and Jyg exiled to Radioshack mostly because the face I made about going to Sally’s. We stayed a short time before heading out to join them, only to be met with a lock door.  It was off to Kohls and (later for Jerry and me) Best Buy.

Good times rolled over to today. Monica and I made plans for a book hunt for today. And, excluding Poet’s Corner Bookstore, it was a blast. I spent a little more than I wanted to – which is always the case when book hunting with Monica, but it’s a sure sign of me having a good time – but I was happy with my “booty.”

We hit up the poorly named Poet’s Corner, Books -n- Things, Georgia’s Thrift Store and finally Barnes. Even though we’re lacking two of our former foursome, we get along just fine. Though the echoes of Meester Binx’s peacock sounded loudly in the past.

Here’s to you, my comrads. My brethren. Mis amigos.

/end of sappy mode.

Writing & Writers

Reliving to recreate history

"They're fake."

There are things I want to regret. Like not being more adventurous when I was a teenager. Or like losing my virginity on the floor of Carmike theater while my – at the time – best friend watched on. I say want to regret because I don’t regret those things. In fact, I really don’t pay much attention to shit like that because it’s not important to me. Just another experience in this whole life ordeal.

I have this deepening feeling that I’ve dug my grave and now I must lie in it. I think a lot of it has to do with writing “Squares” –  I’ve been writing the “treatments” for each chapter before I start the dialogue/comic script; my only hope is that JD’s still game with this – I haven’t spoken to  him in a while.

Speaking of “Squares,” I’ve been rethinking how the set up should be. While this is a reality base comic and not a typical comic book – you know, superheroes and such – I do want to focus on experimental elements. I want the layout to be something both the artist (JD, if he’s still up for it) and I can have some fun with. Bridge we’ll cross when the time comes.

I’ve listened to a lot of dance music lately – for some weird reason, it’s the only music I can write to, no matter the topic. Like any writing session, however, I’m making an “inspirational” playlist of music that would go great in the “Squares” world. That’s a task in of itself.

While I’m more of a fan of the Bubble Sci fi Remix, this song has been on a constant loop in my head. From some odd reason, every time I listen to this song, I always come back to a recycled character I penned a few years back. He didn’t have a name then, but now I’m thinking of calling him Donovan – not after a friend of mine, mind you. I thought him up on day and put him in the corner because he wasn’t behaving. Like most of my characters, he ran rampant. Sadly, however, I never released him from the clutches of the corner.

These days, the character has picked up a trait his original form didn’t have – killing people. I just don’t know how to go about it, which is why I never used him just developed his personality.

Before I go, one last thing. Last Saturday, I was out with Jyg, Izzy, Esmer and Jerry. We were wandering about when they decided to go to Rue 21. I didn’t want to go there, so I went to other stores. Stopping by Marshalls first and then heading over to Hobby Lobby to see what they had in crafts wood. I’ve deduced that it would probably be cheaper if I bought wood at Lowes.

When Jyg and Izzy came to join me, they didn’t bring Jerry and Esmer. I texted the latter where we were and they came to meet us. Because I knew they’d probably have a hard time finding us, I went to look for them. Before doing so, I saw a girl wearing these bulky glasses. I thought nothing of them, but I did do a double take. Something was off. When I met up with Jerry and Esmer, I saw the girl again. This time I knew I wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t wearing glasses, she was wearing just frames.

“Damn hipster,” Jerry said after I mentioned how she wasn’t wearing glasses – he noticed it, too.

I know I did a lot of stupid things when I was a teenager that I should regret, but Jesus H. Christ – being visually impaired wasn’t an in thing.


“You could not feel the value that I placed”

I think it’s safe to say now that Friday’s birthday celebration would have been way more enjoyable if I didn’t take the pills. There’s money wasted.

For my birthday, Jyg, Esmer, Jerry and I went to see The Crazies. The movie was awesome. Afterward, we headed to the park to have pizza and cupcakes. The trio sang to me. It’s, hopefully, the start of a new birthday ordeal with us. It’s amazing that I’m even considering celebrating my birthday next year, and other birthdays (mind you), as well.

Looking back on my short life, I think this was the best birthday I’ve ever had. I’m actually happy for a change, rather than moping around. If this is how it feels, then maybe I’ll stay in this state of mind a little bit longer.

To the future!


“Does it feel that you life’s become a catastrophe?”

Plans are in motion. Jyg and I plan to watch The Crazies with Esmer and Jerry on my birthday, possibly hang out at the park after getting a pizza. The first year I decide to celebrate my birthday with others, so I’m keeping it plain and simple.

I have to accept the way things have gone, and this is my attempt. I once belonged to a world that made sense, but the senselessness of certain events have tainted my outlook. I’m tired of grasping at strings and watching everything go to shit. That world that I’m looking at, isn’t mine anymore. I don’t fit in to any of their equations.

Today, we talked about the nothingness. How everything started from nothing. Izzy can’t imagine nothing. Jyg accepts we become nothing. And me, I’m beginning to question my doubt about a higher plane than the physical world. Not divinity, yet, but something higher than this. Both Izzy and I cannot accept that we just end.

After a while, I asked Izzy my Twitter question that derived from – not surprising if you know me – Superman. What are the chances that there is another planet with the same evolutionary history as ours? I’m talking about homo sapiens and the other creatures around us, not our religions, our histories, our civilizations. Jyg doesn’t think there was a chance – I asked her when she came back – and she doesn’t believe that there is another planet with like ours, maybe similar, but not exactly. Izzy thinks there’s a tiny chance. I told them where the question originated. They laughed; Jyg admitted that she didn’t know Superman was an alien.

I like the current group I’ve found myself in. They’re not like the old group and they never will be, but the comfort level is there. And there’s promise there’ll never be a clash. Think I’m going to love this year.